When I close my eyes
I can see his half
Smile half smirk
I can see his distant eyes
That somehow find me
I can hear his laugh
And feel his strength
I remember what life was like
When he was my
backbone
How much I laughed
How tall I felt
When I close my eyes
I can feel his weight
I can feel my heart panic
My skin remembers the trace
Of his finger tips and
And how all I could do was
Freeze in place
The air felt heavy and
My tears so light
Stop.
“It’s okay. I love you.”
Stop.
And then I open my eyes.
I love you too.
I love the version of you I knew
And the version I knew was hidden
I saw your souls and there was black
And parts are unexusable
You’re actions will not be dismissed
In a number of days
The gavel will click
And the metal will swing
But you should know
I loved you so
But it was never okay
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 4:37 PM UTC
When I close my eyes
I can see his half
Smile half smirk
I can see his distant eyes
That somehow find me
I can hear his laugh
And feel his strength
I remember what life was like
When he was my
backbone
How much I laughed
How tall I felt
When I close my eyes
I can feel his weight
I can feel my heart panic
My skin remembers the trace
Of his finger tips and
And how all I could do was
Freeze in place
The air felt heavy and
My tears so light
Stop.
“It’s okay. I love you.”
Stop.
And then I open my eyes.
I love you too.
I love the version of you I knew
And the version I knew was hidden
I saw your souls and there was black
And parts are unexusable
You’re actions will not be dismissed
In a number of days
The gavel will click
And the metal will swing
But you should know
I loved you so
But it was never okay
