Is This Distance Destructive or Part of Self-Care?

Nicol-g Poems

I feel like I should write Though I'm not quite sure what to say It seems like I feel everything so intensely Until I try to capture it and it's gone Words don't seem to work well these days I'm really not even sure how I'm doing I feel ready to have a successful week Yet I also feel heavily disconnected from you Maybe I am finally accepting my feelings for another Allowing myself to explore the potential new flame Maybe I felt held back by your distaste towards her I realize now that it heavily tints my interactions with her But it's not about her And It's not about you It's honestly about me And the way I've been living I have been so consumed by Our love and all of this polyam drama That I'm forgetting to live as an actual human Forgetting that I exist without you too I know it heavily affects you and Stresses you out far more than I So maybe this distance is for you too Then again, you asked me not to pull away What else can I do though When you're consumed by another And I feel empty and alone too often? These feelings have led my life far too long already So I'm stepping up my focus I am working more on myself again Because if somehow things get rough I need to have someone to fall back on For the first time ever I've found the healthiest opportunity The most reliable choice I should've made sooner And it's me I am my own foundation My world exists through my own perception So in the likely event of some sort of chaos I am finally ready to catch myself I will be ok regardless of circumstance And that's extremely liberating