I smile
And laugh
And talk
Along with everyone else
But inside
My head
Is churning
With thoughts
I know are not welcome
I hold it in
Try to shove it in a box
And throw it in the back of my head
Where I hope I can’t find it
But my wishes are ignored
And they come tumbling back
To the front of my mind
Where they whirl around
“Are you okay?” They ask
“I’m fine” I say
I’ll just try to hold it in
For a little while longer
Until I snap
And slowly disappear
From the life I used to live
I scream and shout and cry
Tired of thinking I am usesless
That no one cares
Trying to trick my self into thinking I don’t have depression
That those people I see in the pamphlets who look so hopless
Couldn’t be me
Maybe if I say that
“I’m fine”
Enough times
I will be okay
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 9:32 AM UTC
I smile
And laugh
And talk
Along with everyone else
But inside
My head
Is churning
With thoughts
I know are not welcome
I hold it in
Try to shove it in a box
And throw it in the back of my head
Where I hope I can’t find it
But my wishes are ignored
And they come tumbling back
To the front of my mind
Where they whirl around
“Are you okay?” They ask
“I’m fine” I say
I’ll just try to hold it in
For a little while longer
Until I snap
And slowly disappear
From the life I used to live
I scream and shout and cry
Tired of thinking I am usesless
That no one cares
Trying to trick my self into thinking I don’t have depression
That those people I see in the pamphlets who look so hopless
Couldn’t be me
Maybe if I say that
“I’m fine”
Enough times
I will be okay