Stop telling me that I'm not fat
I stepped on the scale this morning knowing full well I gained weight
I was not expecting to make it up to 140 though
I was wrong
I thought I could keep off the weight I fought so hard to lose
But no, looks like this is going to be a lifelong struggle for me
I'll always have to think about what I eat
Always
I've gained 8lbs
It doesn't matter what's muscle or how much my ***** weigh
Even if they're legit, I'm going to quit making excuses
I have to starve myself again
I hated that the most
More than going to the gym
More than never eating anything good
The hunger
500 kcal a day, or I was never going to see any results
And it was true
I can't eat 1500 kcal without gaining something
My metabolism is non-existent
Regardless
The thing that has really been killing me is everyone else
That false hope
“You're not fat.”
I don't even know why I ever agreed or let them get to me
Even after losing 20lbs I was still fat at 132, I still had 20 or so lbs to go
But maybe my clothes were too flattering, or they were too nice
I don't care if you are 500lbs
Don't tell me I'm not fat
Don't tell me I'm not allowed to feel fat
I'm not skinny-passing and I never have been
I'm not some skinny girl looking for attention or reassurance
I don't care if that's your honest opinion
I don't care if you'd rather be at my weight or would be happy at my weight
I hate my naked body
I could never pull off a bikini
I'm living in reality
I know what other people would honestly think
Fat is fat
I could weigh so much more, but it doesn't matter
I've already passed the threshold of what is considered fat
From a health standpoint I might be better off
I might not be that hard to look at naked but I'm still fat
Quit telling me I'm not allowed to feel fat because I don't meet your requirements
This is something I struggle with just as much as someone at 200 or 300 or 400
I feel ugly, unwanted, disgusting
I know it has a hand in my love life
I need exercise equipment at home
I'm too self-conscious to go out running or jogging
I don't want anyone to see me
This ends now
I give up
I'm ready to trade it all for a body I love and am proud of
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 1:22 PM UTC
Stop telling me that I'm not fat
I stepped on the scale this morning knowing full well I gained weight
I was not expecting to make it up to 140 though
I was wrong
I thought I could keep off the weight I fought so hard to lose
But no, looks like this is going to be a lifelong struggle for me
I'll always have to think about what I eat
Always
I've gained 8lbs
It doesn't matter what's muscle or how much my ***** weigh
Even if they're legit, I'm going to quit making excuses
I have to starve myself again
I hated that the most
More than going to the gym
More than never eating anything good
The hunger
500 kcal a day, or I was never going to see any results
And it was true
I can't eat 1500 kcal without gaining something
My metabolism is non-existent
Regardless
The thing that has really been killing me is everyone else
That false hope
“You're not fat.”
I don't even know why I ever agreed or let them get to me
Even after losing 20lbs I was still fat at 132, I still had 20 or so lbs to go
But maybe my clothes were too flattering, or they were too nice
I don't care if you are 500lbs
Don't tell me I'm not fat
Don't tell me I'm not allowed to feel fat
I'm not skinny-passing and I never have been
I'm not some skinny girl looking for attention or reassurance
I don't care if that's your honest opinion
I don't care if you'd rather be at my weight or would be happy at my weight
I hate my naked body
I could never pull off a bikini
I'm living in reality
I know what other people would honestly think
Fat is fat
I could weigh so much more, but it doesn't matter
I've already passed the threshold of what is considered fat
From a health standpoint I might be better off
I might not be that hard to look at naked but I'm still fat
Quit telling me I'm not allowed to feel fat because I don't meet your requirements
This is something I struggle with just as much as someone at 200 or 300 or 400
I feel ugly, unwanted, disgusting
I know it has a hand in my love life
I need exercise equipment at home
I'm too self-conscious to go out running or jogging
I don't want anyone to see me
This ends now
I give up
I'm ready to trade it all for a body I love and am proud of