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I’m not a shadow of my former self, no 
I’ve turned into my own shadow,
 Never free to go, 
Switched places with the one stalking me
 It’s been so long, forgot how to be free 
I represent the lack of sunlight, 
 So close but yet so far 
I completely disappeared from the radar 

People step on me, not realizing
 It’s okay though, not really surprising
 It doesn’t even hurt anymore
 Because I’ve been down on the floor
 For so long, trying to remember
 Where I came from
 The winter season is the worst, no sun
 Which means for a second, I’m completely gone
 Not even a trace, not even a glance 
Scream for help now, it’s your last chance 
I’m being swallowed up whole
 Merging with other shadows
 As my mind goes for a stroll

 Please help me back up friend, 
I wish to have colour again
 Colour in my brain 
Not just solid black or grey 
That’s pretty much all I have to say 
My only dream in life is to live 
My mind I won’t forgive
 For what it did to me
 So desperate, set me free 
I want to switch back, I belong up there 
Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair

 I want to have a peek,
Keep getting close 
But you’re always in the way 
From your head to your toes
 Blocking out the heat,
 Blocking out the rays 
Been down here a thousand days
 I’m no longer physical
 I’m being hypocritical 
You should do this, seek assistance 
Only to lengthen your existence
 But here I am, sinking in quicksand
 It’s really not going as planned 

In my mind the shadow keeps growing
 While I keep shrinking
 I’m getting to the point where I stop thinking 
About ever seeing light, ever being free 
I know very well that I’m ill
 But I’ll get through, I will
 Surrounded by the vast nothingness
 Angriness wins it from happiness
 Evil beats good
 Beating this thing? I thought I would

 Please help me back up friend,
I wish to have colour again 
Colour in my brain
 Not just solid black or grey
 That’s pretty much all I have to say
 My only dream in life is to live
 My mind I won’t forgive
 For what it did to me 
So desperate, set me free 
I want to switch back, I belong up there 
Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair

 I dodge the light, as if on purpose
 But I can’t help it, feeling worthless 
I was made to be invisible
 The darkness makes me miserable 
Need to break loose of this walking corpse 
Trying to do so through these works

 The shadow holds me by the throat
 Writing these words, and I quote
 “I won’t end you, just leave you breathless.” 
Nothing good in there, not a message
 It’s only the harsh truth, depression is drowning 
In your own thoughts, your mind is shouting 
In your ear, just make it stop
 Pull the trigger and then I drop
 Deafening silence, finally
 And I lay there silently, 
 Lifeless
 Now I’m free from this crisis 
That occupied my head,
 The only solution I figured out, 
Now I’m dead.
0
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 10:12 AM UTC
My Shadow
I’m not a shadow of my former self, no 
I’ve turned into my own shadow,
 Never free to go, 
Switched places with the one stalking me
 It’s been so long, forgot how to be free 
I represent the lack of sunlight, 
 So close but yet so far 
I completely disappeared from the radar 

People step on me, not realizing
 It’s okay though, not really surprising
 It doesn’t even hurt anymore
 Because I’ve been down on the floor
 For so long, trying to remember
 Where I came from
 The winter season is the worst, no sun
 Which means for a second, I’m completely gone
 Not even a trace, not even a glance 
Scream for help now, it’s your last chance 
I’m being swallowed up whole
 Merging with other shadows
 As my mind goes for a stroll

 Please help me back up friend, 
I wish to have colour again
 Colour in my brain 
Not just solid black or grey 
That’s pretty much all I have to say 
My only dream in life is to live 
My mind I won’t forgive
 For what it did to me
 So desperate, set me free 
I want to switch back, I belong up there 
Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair

 I want to have a peek,
Keep getting close 
But you’re always in the way 
From your head to your toes
 Blocking out the heat,
 Blocking out the rays 
Been down here a thousand days
 I’m no longer physical
 I’m being hypocritical 
You should do this, seek assistance 
Only to lengthen your existence
 But here I am, sinking in quicksand
 It’s really not going as planned 

In my mind the shadow keeps growing
 While I keep shrinking
 I’m getting to the point where I stop thinking 
About ever seeing light, ever being free 
I know very well that I’m ill
 But I’ll get through, I will
 Surrounded by the vast nothingness
 Angriness wins it from happiness
 Evil beats good
 Beating this thing? I thought I would

 Please help me back up friend,
I wish to have colour again 
Colour in my brain
 Not just solid black or grey
 That’s pretty much all I have to say
 My only dream in life is to live
 My mind I won’t forgive
 For what it did to me 
So desperate, set me free 
I want to switch back, I belong up there 
Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair

 I dodge the light, as if on purpose
 But I can’t help it, feeling worthless 
I was made to be invisible
 The darkness makes me miserable 
Need to break loose of this walking corpse 
Trying to do so through these works

 The shadow holds me by the throat
 Writing these words, and I quote
 “I won’t end you, just leave you breathless.” 
Nothing good in there, not a message
 It’s only the harsh truth, depression is drowning 
In your own thoughts, your mind is shouting 
In your ear, just make it stop
 Pull the trigger and then I drop
 Deafening silence, finally
 And I lay there silently, 
 Lifeless
 Now I’m free from this crisis 
That occupied my head,
 The only solution I figured out, 
Now I’m dead.
TheMeanBean
Written by
21/M/The Netherlands
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 10:12 AM UTC
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