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I can’t see, I try but I can’t
 Without all those colours, life is bland 
Everything has turned to grey
 From happiness to dismay 
In the blink of an eye
 Time to say goodbye
 To your perfect little life
 It’s turned into a struggle to survive 
But my problem is my head
 Not those two eyes of mine
 I think my brain is dead
 My eyes are working just fine

 I envy those around me
 Enjoying their lives, being free
 Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment
 All dark, blurry and violent
 Streams of tears trickle down my face 
Are those tears or is it blood? 
I should check, just in case 
For I can’t distinguish one from the other 
Then how am I ever to discover? 

I’m full of open gashes
 They hurt and I see flashes
 Of my past, catching up to me 
Leave me alone, I desperately plead 
The present is still haunting my body
 The future looks the same, a carbon copy 
Full of hate, despair and depression 
Introspection is the name of this session 
Please don’t use discretion for your self-expression
 Not a single concession it’s your possession
 Say no to oppression, no to suppression 
For you have to help yourself here
 It’s a difficult road to get rid of the fear 
To be free from the the thought 
The one that your depression brought
 The one occupying all of your brain 
Screaming “YOU’RE NOTHING, YOU’RE INSANE!”
 You’re stronger than that,
 Please just have a little chat
 About your issues, with anyone you trust
 Your problems will decrease when discussed 
Don’t stay colourblind, 
There’s too much you’re missing
 Open up to people, don’t stay hidden 

Depression is colourblind too 
No matter how you look, it’ll find you
 Do you know how long it look
 For me to discover what was wrong?
 Way longer than I could stay strong
 But I figured it out, no I haven’t 
I preach this advice, but my mind is still absent
 Still struggling, but I think I know what to do 
How to actually fix this, oh I wish I knew 
It’s certainly hard, it’s a struggle 
Chucking around all these emotions
 Don’t even know how to juggle
I let them all fall, they crack and break
Don’t have emotions anymore,
 All I do is fake 

I envy those around me
 Enjoying their lives, being free 
Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment
 All dark, blurry and violent 
Streams of tears trickle down my face
 Are those tears or is it blood?
 I should check, just in case
 For I can’t distinguish one from the other 
Then how am I ever to discover?
 What I feel like
 Who I am
 This whole thing called life is a scam 
It’s not what they told me it’d be
 Or is it too soon, when will I be free? 
When will I see colours, I don’t understand
 They ask about my favourite colour, I pretend 
“Oh it’s blue, or red or something..” 
I know it’s wrong, I feel disgusting

 I shouldn’t lie, I need to speak 
As life keeps looking bleak 
Don’t know how long I’ll survive
 Not just pretend to live a life
 I want to enjoy, laugh and discover 
Not having to recover
 From thinking for too long
 That’s just what is wrong 
I’m sick, so sick
 From myself I’m so thick 
I know what is wrong, but assistance? 
I’d rather have some distance 
Settled on coexistence
 Gave up any persistence or resistance 
Along the way,
 The cost is that everything stays grey 
Everything tastes the same 
I claim I’m not to blame 
I live in shame, 
 Seeing who I became 

I became weak, a grey character 
Not knowing if I’m good or bad 
Doesn’t matter, not a competitor
 Simply breathing, going mad
 It’ll be alright, it’ll sort itself out 
Keep telling yourself that friend 
As you drown in this drought 
Of emotions
0
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 7:57 PM UTC
Colourblind
I can’t see, I try but I can’t
 Without all those colours, life is bland 
Everything has turned to grey
 From happiness to dismay 
In the blink of an eye
 Time to say goodbye
 To your perfect little life
 It’s turned into a struggle to survive 
But my problem is my head
 Not those two eyes of mine
 I think my brain is dead
 My eyes are working just fine

 I envy those around me
 Enjoying their lives, being free
 Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment
 All dark, blurry and violent
 Streams of tears trickle down my face 
Are those tears or is it blood? 
I should check, just in case 
For I can’t distinguish one from the other 
Then how am I ever to discover? 

I’m full of open gashes
 They hurt and I see flashes
 Of my past, catching up to me 
Leave me alone, I desperately plead 
The present is still haunting my body
 The future looks the same, a carbon copy 
Full of hate, despair and depression 
Introspection is the name of this session 
Please don’t use discretion for your self-expression
 Not a single concession it’s your possession
 Say no to oppression, no to suppression 
For you have to help yourself here
 It’s a difficult road to get rid of the fear 
To be free from the the thought 
The one that your depression brought
 The one occupying all of your brain 
Screaming “YOU’RE NOTHING, YOU’RE INSANE!”
 You’re stronger than that,
 Please just have a little chat
 About your issues, with anyone you trust
 Your problems will decrease when discussed 
Don’t stay colourblind, 
There’s too much you’re missing
 Open up to people, don’t stay hidden 

Depression is colourblind too 
No matter how you look, it’ll find you
 Do you know how long it look
 For me to discover what was wrong?
 Way longer than I could stay strong
 But I figured it out, no I haven’t 
I preach this advice, but my mind is still absent
 Still struggling, but I think I know what to do 
How to actually fix this, oh I wish I knew 
It’s certainly hard, it’s a struggle 
Chucking around all these emotions
 Don’t even know how to juggle
I let them all fall, they crack and break
Don’t have emotions anymore,
 All I do is fake 

I envy those around me
 Enjoying their lives, being free 
Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment
 All dark, blurry and violent 
Streams of tears trickle down my face
 Are those tears or is it blood?
 I should check, just in case
 For I can’t distinguish one from the other 
Then how am I ever to discover?
 What I feel like
 Who I am
 This whole thing called life is a scam 
It’s not what they told me it’d be
 Or is it too soon, when will I be free? 
When will I see colours, I don’t understand
 They ask about my favourite colour, I pretend 
“Oh it’s blue, or red or something..” 
I know it’s wrong, I feel disgusting

 I shouldn’t lie, I need to speak 
As life keeps looking bleak 
Don’t know how long I’ll survive
 Not just pretend to live a life
 I want to enjoy, laugh and discover 
Not having to recover
 From thinking for too long
 That’s just what is wrong 
I’m sick, so sick
 From myself I’m so thick 
I know what is wrong, but assistance? 
I’d rather have some distance 
Settled on coexistence
 Gave up any persistence or resistance 
Along the way,
 The cost is that everything stays grey 
Everything tastes the same 
I claim I’m not to blame 
I live in shame, 
 Seeing who I became 

I became weak, a grey character 
Not knowing if I’m good or bad 
Doesn’t matter, not a competitor
 Simply breathing, going mad
 It’ll be alright, it’ll sort itself out 
Keep telling yourself that friend 
As you drown in this drought 
Of emotions
TheMeanBean
Written by
21/M/The Netherlands
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 7:57 PM UTC
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