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I waited until I knew she was gone, the whole time checking behind me. I went up the stairs in silence, I knew she'd let me be. I got to the top and there it was, the horrible bathroom door. I went inside and locked it, and then sank down to the floor. I turned on the water, I knew it would drown out the sound. Sticking my finger down my throat, my head was spinning around. I held onto the seat, then came the tears. I looked at who I'd become, someone that I feared. I felt like such a failure, tears streamed down my face. I'd disappeared slowly, and I was gone without a trace. I'd wished for help all the time, but what was I to do? I was the one that had made this choice, it was this I'd put myself through. I flushed my sorrows down, and turned to face the sink. I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash, and took a shameful drink. My mom knocked at the door, my heart began to race. I turned the water back on, and started to wash my face. "I'm busy right now" I started to say, I knew she wouldn't ask why. I told her I was taking my makeup off, hoping she'd believed my lie. I finally came out, I was weak and tired and ready to sleep. I wanted to hide my secret from the world, bury it really deep. I got in my bed, and turned off the light. I closed my eyes, and tried to sleep through the night. The next day came again, I finally was awake. I put on another smile, the one I had to fake. The day went well, until I locked the bathroom door. Where once again like always, I would sink to the bathroom floor.
0
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012 at 1:49 AM UTC
Hidden Pain
I waited until I knew she was gone, the whole time checking behind me. I went up the stairs in silence, I knew she'd let me be. I got to the top and there it was, the horrible bathroom door. I went inside and locked it, and then sank down to the floor. I turned on the water, I knew it would drown out the sound. Sticking my finger down my throat, my head was spinning around. I held onto the seat, then came the tears. I looked at who I'd become, someone that I feared. I felt like such a failure, tears streamed down my face. I'd disappeared slowly, and I was gone without a trace. I'd wished for help all the time, but what was I to do? I was the one that had made this choice, it was this I'd put myself through. I flushed my sorrows down, and turned to face the sink. I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash, and took a shameful drink. My mom knocked at the door, my heart began to race. I turned the water back on, and started to wash my face. "I'm busy right now" I started to say, I knew she wouldn't ask why. I told her I was taking my makeup off, hoping she'd believed my lie. I finally came out, I was weak and tired and ready to sleep. I wanted to hide my secret from the world, bury it really deep. I got in my bed, and turned off the light. I closed my eyes, and tried to sleep through the night. The next day came again, I finally was awake. I put on another smile, the one I had to fake. The day went well, until I locked the bathroom door. Where once again like always, I would sink to the bathroom floor.
maddie-bukowsky
Written by
maddie-bukowsky
Italian
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012 at 1:49 AM UTC
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