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I was cleaning out the fridge today And in the back I found this "thing" It was furry, soft and squishy From the mind of Stephen King I didn't want to touch it It looked like a tangerine But, from all the fur and oozy stuff I don't know what it had been I knew I had to move it But I wasn't sure quite how I'd seen things much more appealing Come from the rear end of a cow I emptied out the other stuff I put them in the sink I was left with this small land mine That really had a stink I needed some protection Before I tried to grab this bomb so, I closed the door real quiet And I went to get some on I put on swimming goggles To protect my eyes in case It exploded when I grabbed it And it jelly-fied my face I then grabbed my old rain coat And put it on all front to back So my front was well protected In case this thing chose to attack Hockey gloves to save my hands Work boots were for my feet All this to dispose of this Thing that people eat I opened up the door again And as I looked inside I could swear this thing was throbbing And it had grown to twice it's size I slammed the door and grabbed a beer I had some in the sink I had to get this thing destroyed I needed time to think I called up both my neighbors I said "Evacuate" the street I told them I was killing Some thing that people eat I couldn't tell them what it was Because I wasn't sure I must have bought it months ago But I didn't know what for If I knew that this would happen If the expiration passed If I knew this when I bought it, I would have eaten it real fast I went to get the garbage I put three new bags inside I would put the thing inside one And would then get all three tied I'd run it to the dump myself But, I'd have to freeze it first Because, Imagine what would happen If the plastic bags had burst One more thing I had to do was get some stuff to hide the scent I thought I'd get some vapo rub So off to search I went Now, all prepared and goggled up in raincoat and in gloves I was set to grab this thing For push had come to shove I opened up the door and there Where the thing had just now been Was nothing, not a single thing Where was my thing of green? It didn't get out on it's own And no one would eat it up The only one who'd like it Was our garbage eating pup It was at this point I saw my son Rolling outside like a log Playing with our whirling dervish He had fed it to the dog!!
0
May 5, 2012
May 5, 2012 at 6:23 PM UTC
Thing in The Fridge
I was cleaning out the fridge today And in the back I found this "thing" It was furry, soft and squishy From the mind of Stephen King I didn't want to touch it It looked like a tangerine But, from all the fur and oozy stuff I don't know what it had been I knew I had to move it But I wasn't sure quite how I'd seen things much more appealing Come from the rear end of a cow I emptied out the other stuff I put them in the sink I was left with this small land mine That really had a stink I needed some protection Before I tried to grab this bomb so, I closed the door real quiet And I went to get some on I put on swimming goggles To protect my eyes in case It exploded when I grabbed it And it jelly-fied my face I then grabbed my old rain coat And put it on all front to back So my front was well protected In case this thing chose to attack Hockey gloves to save my hands Work boots were for my feet All this to dispose of this Thing that people eat I opened up the door again And as I looked inside I could swear this thing was throbbing And it had grown to twice it's size I slammed the door and grabbed a beer I had some in the sink I had to get this thing destroyed I needed time to think I called up both my neighbors I said "Evacuate" the street I told them I was killing Some thing that people eat I couldn't tell them what it was Because I wasn't sure I must have bought it months ago But I didn't know what for If I knew that this would happen If the expiration passed If I knew this when I bought it, I would have eaten it real fast I went to get the garbage I put three new bags inside I would put the thing inside one And would then get all three tied I'd run it to the dump myself But, I'd have to freeze it first Because, Imagine what would happen If the plastic bags had burst One more thing I had to do was get some stuff to hide the scent I thought I'd get some vapo rub So off to search I went Now, all prepared and goggled up in raincoat and in gloves I was set to grab this thing For push had come to shove I opened up the door and there Where the thing had just now been Was nothing, not a single thing Where was my thing of green? It didn't get out on it's own And no one would eat it up The only one who'd like it Was our garbage eating pup It was at this point I saw my son Rolling outside like a log Playing with our whirling dervish He had fed it to the dog!!
roger-turner
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roger-turner
Canadian
May 5, 2012
May 5, 2012 at 6:23 PM UTC
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