I was always told
As if it were praise,
About how strong I am (emotionally).
About how determined I am,
About how much of a fighter I am.
My mother says: "We're all so proud of you, and anyone who isn't is delusional."
But I don't feel so strong anymore.
I don't feel very brave.
I don't feel like a fighter.
All this bravado I put forth for my mother,
And my siblings when they actually speak to me,
Just isn't enough.
I can't do it in front of you,
Because that front I have
Is such ********
I'm vulnerable and scared,
And my confidence only comes out
In deflective smart remarks,
That have a tendency of offending
Most people,
And I'm sure sometimes even you.
I just want to be better.
I just want to be stronger.
But I'm nowhere near better,
And I don't feel very strong.
I only break when I know I'm allowed to.
I have to be stronger than this.
I'm too smart for my own good,
And I have a golden heart
With a rebel yell.
I am better than this.
I am stronger than this.
I'll be okay.
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 25, 2017 at 6:34 PM UTC
I was always told
As if it were praise,
About how strong I am (emotionally).
About how determined I am,
About how much of a fighter I am.
My mother says: "We're all so proud of you, and anyone who isn't is delusional."
But I don't feel so strong anymore.
I don't feel very brave.
I don't feel like a fighter.
All this bravado I put forth for my mother,
And my siblings when they actually speak to me,
Just isn't enough.
I can't do it in front of you,
Because that front I have
Is such ********
I'm vulnerable and scared,
And my confidence only comes out
In deflective smart remarks,
That have a tendency of offending
Most people,
And I'm sure sometimes even you.
I just want to be better.
I just want to be stronger.
But I'm nowhere near better,
And I don't feel very strong.
I only break when I know I'm allowed to.
I have to be stronger than this.
I'm too smart for my own good,
And I have a golden heart
With a rebel yell.
I am better than this.
I am stronger than this.
I'll be okay.
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