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There is a war      waging inside me     tearing me to pieces. Do I grovel for forgiveness     fight for this or run...         like I've always done? I don't know how it works trying to be a part of something        bigger than                     me. I feel complete blindness and      terrifying uncertainty.                    Is it me?     Am I ruining whatever this is? Or are you to blame too? Don't you see       I've never done this before.            Everything is new to me        and I'm trying my best but I fear I keep faltering...                                      failing....                                            falling. I've only ever looked out for myself     and yet          here I am dancing      on my tippy toes trying to please you. No ones ever wanted me           around constantly         so instinctively I pull back. I'm not sure I'll ever get this right             especially if you don't understand my          doubt and                hesitation. Is this love     or agony? I didn't know it was possible       to confuse the two. Some days I feel     oh so high and happy that's when it's easy to be with you.      But there are days like this where           it appears I've messed up                      again. Now there's simply radio     silence. I'm struggling daily. If it's all me       if all these mistakes           are only mine to make      do I continue trying? There's no promise      I'll get better. I worry in time you'll get sick             of my constant shortcomings. But if I give up     run like I've done what's the cost? I've lost        you for good this time.       I'm at a c                     r                     o                     s             roads          Is this love or        agony? Please just tell me. Should I fight or flee? Do you still want         me?
0
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 21, 2017 at 6:21 PM UTC
Love or Agony
There is a war      waging inside me     tearing me to pieces. Do I grovel for forgiveness     fight for this or run...         like I've always done? I don't know how it works trying to be a part of something        bigger than                     me. I feel complete blindness and      terrifying uncertainty.                    Is it me?     Am I ruining whatever this is? Or are you to blame too? Don't you see       I've never done this before.            Everything is new to me        and I'm trying my best but I fear I keep faltering...                                      failing....                                            falling. I've only ever looked out for myself     and yet          here I am dancing      on my tippy toes trying to please you. No ones ever wanted me           around constantly         so instinctively I pull back. I'm not sure I'll ever get this right             especially if you don't understand my          doubt and                hesitation. Is this love     or agony? I didn't know it was possible       to confuse the two. Some days I feel     oh so high and happy that's when it's easy to be with you.      But there are days like this where           it appears I've messed up                      again. Now there's simply radio     silence. I'm struggling daily. If it's all me       if all these mistakes           are only mine to make      do I continue trying? There's no promise      I'll get better. I worry in time you'll get sick             of my constant shortcomings. But if I give up     run like I've done what's the cost? I've lost        you for good this time.       I'm at a c                     r                     o                     s             roads          Is this love or        agony? Please just tell me. Should I fight or flee? Do you still want         me?
silently-screaming
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Feb 21, 2017
Feb 21, 2017 at 6:21 PM UTC
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