I should have known this would happen again
They're getting worse
I'm slowly being lured into their trap
I know what this is
The demons within me
They're getting stronger
I can not suppress these feelings much longer
I'm afraid
I know what happens next
The hospital
More pills
More doctors
People saying
"It gets better"
Bull ****
I've been fighting for five years
Every time it just gets worse
They say to look and help others
I do
That's all I ever do
I get so lost in other people's problems I forget my own
Tick… tick… tick…
I'm a time bomb about to detonate
Except no one knows when I will go off
I bury these feelings deep within until everything bottled up
They say to forget
How you can you forget when everything you do points back to them
Shh... It's okay they say
No it's not okay
It's not ******* okay
I'm a mess
A hoarders house looks better than my thoughts
It's normal to go through stages like this I've been told by doctors
Okay so it's normal to want to die?
Okay I'll remind you that that when people tell me how ****** up wanting to die is
I'll remind you that when people think I'm physcotic when I break down because of words said
I tell myself I'll be fine
I do it for my family
I could care less what happens to me
I get texts saying "please don't die"
but what's stopping me?
Oh wait…
Nothing
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 14, 2016 at 9:40 AM UTC
I should have known this would happen again
They're getting worse
I'm slowly being lured into their trap
I know what this is
The demons within me
They're getting stronger
I can not suppress these feelings much longer
I'm afraid
I know what happens next
The hospital
More pills
More doctors
People saying
"It gets better"
Bull ****
I've been fighting for five years
Every time it just gets worse
They say to look and help others
I do
That's all I ever do
I get so lost in other people's problems I forget my own
Tick… tick… tick…
I'm a time bomb about to detonate
Except no one knows when I will go off
I bury these feelings deep within until everything bottled up
They say to forget
How you can you forget when everything you do points back to them
Shh... It's okay they say
No it's not okay
It's not ******* okay
I'm a mess
A hoarders house looks better than my thoughts
It's normal to go through stages like this I've been told by doctors
Okay so it's normal to want to die?
Okay I'll remind you that that when people tell me how ****** up wanting to die is
I'll remind you that when people think I'm physcotic when I break down because of words said
I tell myself I'll be fine
I do it for my family
I could care less what happens to me
I get texts saying "please don't die"
but what's stopping me?
Oh wait…
Nothing
Request permission to use this poem