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sara-reillyPoems
i am prescribed to watch you perfidious dying star whose brilliant life dilated my eyes a drug of promise a light on black water i've been treading and will tread and will tread already nova you disintegrate protracted yet instantaneous even as you sit so still composed while decomposing impossibly looking and not looking at me your disappearance is blinding and massive a denied inevitability that quietly explodes me your nothingness crashes over me in waves   as I roll without direction beneath         where the bottom used to be silent violence made in your wake perpetuates unforeseen side effects effectively you abandoning me vacuum void my undone body black hole collapse of gravity such is your fall out all over me infuriating stellar reliability unequivocal follow through really ******* good for you watch how easy it is for you to take me apart with your words see my soft pieces writhe wet and mute on the floor disassembled by a sentence betrayed by your mouth only my thoughts remain teeming aimlessly toward what is gone wanting to be known knowing they are hopeless              as cries underwater tears on skin evaporate instantly you will forget in as much time their tiny sacrifices hundreds of momentary lives lived only in your name hundreds of deaths for you miniature castaways of me crying a siren's song sinking me further because it is my nature to give pieces of myself away trying to become complete until suddenly i am gone entirely wanting to take you with me between the two of us someone             is subconsciously a killer sudden deep freeze self defense disassociation disbelief because of what I know you know you mean to me -and- also there are rules to you leaving me you promise to never ever be my friend and assure me i will never ever see you again                  subzero affect forever treacherous end this - is the part - when i turn inside out and self destruct in front of you spectacularly as you watch  --  help-less-ly intentionally not saving me because what you do for a living                                     is killing me i will tire of treading water because everybody drifts away i am so laden and broken built to drown your goodbye is the fullest               a set up to pull me down Sent from my iPhone
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Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
Dear doctor, your goodbye (rewrite)
i am prescribed to watch you perfidious dying star whose brilliant life dilated my eyes a drug of promise a light on black water i've been treading and will tread and will tread already nova you disintegrate protracted yet instantaneous even as you sit so still composed while decomposing impossibly looking and not looking at me your disappearance is blinding and massive a denied inevitability that quietly explodes me your nothingness crashes over me in waves   as I roll without direction beneath         where the bottom used to be silent violence made in your wake perpetuates unforeseen side effects effectively you abandoning me vacuum void my undone body black hole collapse of gravity such is your fall out all over me infuriating stellar reliability unequivocal follow through really ******* good for you watch how easy it is for you to take me apart with your words see my soft pieces writhe wet and mute on the floor disassembled by a sentence betrayed by your mouth only my thoughts remain teeming aimlessly toward what is gone wanting to be known knowing they are hopeless              as cries underwater tears on skin evaporate instantly you will forget in as much time their tiny sacrifices hundreds of momentary lives lived only in your name hundreds of deaths for you miniature castaways of me crying a siren's song sinking me further because it is my nature to give pieces of myself away trying to become complete until suddenly i am gone entirely wanting to take you with me between the two of us someone             is subconsciously a killer sudden deep freeze self defense disassociation disbelief because of what I know you know you mean to me -and- also there are rules to you leaving me you promise to never ever be my friend and assure me i will never ever see you again                  subzero affect forever treacherous end this - is the part - when i turn inside out and self destruct in front of you spectacularly as you watch  --  help-less-ly intentionally not saving me because what you do for a living                                     is killing me i will tire of treading water because everybody drifts away i am so laden and broken built to drown your goodbye is the fullest               a set up to pull me down Sent from my iPhone
2nd draft. c.sdr 2016
sara-reilly
Written by
sara-reilly
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
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