I used to feel like a little kid
going to the playground on Thursdays
because Thursdays were the days
where I got to see you for four days straight
and mondays were sad because i left your nest
and i went back “home”
On Tuesdays I missed you
I didn’t get to see you,
even though every other Wednesday I did
but then not for another weekend
not until Thursday
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was eight, and I couldn’t change anything.
I was four when you sat me down
four years old and you said you didn’t love mom anymore
and mom said she didn’t love you
and you said you were going somewhere else
and I didn’t know where
you wound up living in a womans basement
and now that i’m older I know her ex husband
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was four, and I couldn’t change anything.
I hurt myself for the first time
not because of you
no i don’t want to blame you
but it also wasn’t just me
I hurt myself more
and you didn’t really think
when you told me I was doing it for attention
because then my vision was white and my head was heavy
I thought of those words
I still think of those words
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was fifteen, and I couldn’t change anything.
I heard you cry
because I was dying
the only time
I’ve ever seen you
have any emotion
it changed my life
but didn’t change you
Im twenty years old and I live with you
I’m twenty years old and I don’t see you for days
I’m twenty years old and you have no idea who I am
I’m twenty years old and you seem like you’re dead
I’m twenty years old and twenty year olds still need a Father.
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 7:49 PM UTC
I used to feel like a little kid
going to the playground on Thursdays
because Thursdays were the days
where I got to see you for four days straight
and mondays were sad because i left your nest
and i went back “home”
On Tuesdays I missed you
I didn’t get to see you,
even though every other Wednesday I did
but then not for another weekend
not until Thursday
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was eight, and I couldn’t change anything.
I was four when you sat me down
four years old and you said you didn’t love mom anymore
and mom said she didn’t love you
and you said you were going somewhere else
and I didn’t know where
you wound up living in a womans basement
and now that i’m older I know her ex husband
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was four, and I couldn’t change anything.
I hurt myself for the first time
not because of you
no i don’t want to blame you
but it also wasn’t just me
I hurt myself more
and you didn’t really think
when you told me I was doing it for attention
because then my vision was white and my head was heavy
I thought of those words
I still think of those words
It was complicated, and I couldn’t change that
I was fifteen, and I couldn’t change anything.
I heard you cry
because I was dying
the only time
I’ve ever seen you
have any emotion
it changed my life
but didn’t change you
Im twenty years old and I live with you
I’m twenty years old and I don’t see you for days
I’m twenty years old and you have no idea who I am
I’m twenty years old and you seem like you’re dead
I’m twenty years old and twenty year olds still need a Father.
I wrote this poem about my father, for we haven't been the closest in a few years. A lot of my personal issues come with the separating and detachment I have with my father. This poem is written about me as a little kid and my parents divorcing and the hard emotions I dealt with. They stem up to this day. Things are getting better since I moved, but sadly I don't think they will ever be the same.
