October 19th
That's when I started to hate everything:
My Boyfriend. School. My Family. Myself. My Life.
Things I really cared about before.
But that was before.
Before my schitzo boyfriend became a liar. A cheater.
Before he went from the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with to the man I never wanted to see again.
Before I got to school one day, looked around, and got sick to my stomach.
I realized that the bright, white lights,
cold, white walls
Reminded me of my second home: The Hospital.
The other students resembled the slow "Beep, beep, beep" of the machines I am so familiar with.
The pain I go through everyday...
When I lost hope...
Stopped caring...
Oh, but BEFORE?!
I cared...
Before my mom announced that she was pregnant with my 5th brother, and 6th sibling,
I was excited!
...
Until I realized that I'd have another child to raise.
Well, ****** atleast I'd have help this time.
From the stepdad who doesn't seem to want to stay.
And the brother who refuses to take his medication.
Hard to believe, but BEFORE,...
I cared.
But that was before.
Before everything.
NOW?
I'm done caring.
Because now is now.
Before was just...
Before.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 3:32 PM UTC
October 19th
That's when I started to hate everything:
My Boyfriend. School. My Family. Myself. My Life.
Things I really cared about before.
But that was before.
Before my schitzo boyfriend became a liar. A cheater.
Before he went from the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with to the man I never wanted to see again.
Before I got to school one day, looked around, and got sick to my stomach.
I realized that the bright, white lights,
cold, white walls
Reminded me of my second home: The Hospital.
The other students resembled the slow "Beep, beep, beep" of the machines I am so familiar with.
The pain I go through everyday...
When I lost hope...
Stopped caring...
Oh, but BEFORE?!
I cared...
Before my mom announced that she was pregnant with my 5th brother, and 6th sibling,
I was excited!
...
Until I realized that I'd have another child to raise.
Well, ****** atleast I'd have help this time.
From the stepdad who doesn't seem to want to stay.
And the brother who refuses to take his medication.
Hard to believe, but BEFORE,...
I cared.
But that was before.
Before everything.
NOW?
I'm done caring.
Because now is now.
Before was just...
Before.
This reflects a period in my life filled with depression, tears, and a lot of pain. I actually wrote it on December 11th of 2014, but it still lives in my heart.
