Every left aligned string of words produced by me has been tainted
Chiseled at and infiltrated by a pain i cannot describe without these words
The syllables that cling to my soul trying to preserve my long lost innocence
My only way of coping with the sadness and the hatred
That run like blood so deep in my veins it's impossible to separate from me
Is to tie together letter after letter in order to try to forget
I've always had the urge to run so far away from my problems they can't find me
Instead as an adversary of my only works of art and of my sanity
You push me
Like a mirror cracked and broken in all of the vital places you reflect me
Reminding me that I'm not the only one broken in this world
And giving me another reason to cling to whats left of my reason to live and hold on to my life
One that I so badly needed as I watched the time tick by
Lost in this cloud of darkness that surrounded me
With no way to feel my way out nor find a glimmer of light to guide me
You taught me that I didn't need a light to see
Instead you took my hand and guided me by touch
Feeling my way out of the darkest of tunnels until a light far away was visible again
If only faint, it was there for me to see after so long of pure blackness
My eyes couldn't fathom what you had shown me
So like an old habit popping up my walls came burrowing up from the ground
Like they always do in dire situations yet for once
I fought to keep them down
For in you I know I have found something I was doubting the existence of
Care, love, and passion a friendship unexplainable even in my poetry
I fight now for words to describe the debt my heart owes to you for keeping me alive
One i will never be able to repay, not that you would allow me to if i tried
For being the broken and helpless person I am somehow I helped you too
The two of us fumbling for words and life couldn't be more thankful to have found each other
Where our two worlds coincide is where we will now be lost forever
That hand in the darkness saved me, now those eyes in the light
Push me forward when every fiber of my being wants to retreat
To forget about promises I've made and run back into trying to forget
To turn back into a person I was long ago where death was my only friend
Where love was a syllable only uttered with lost and my heart was always breaking
Now instead I've found reason for it to heal
Remembering all of the past I fought so hard to forget it
Has made moving forward much easier
Now every shuffled step I take is toward the light instead of away from it
Because now I am viable to admit that it is there
For once in my life I have hope that everything is going to be okay
Yet my tendency to act like everything already is okay
Still perpetrates my bones
I'm an actress at heart and the world is my stage
Feelings and emotions are my lines to be portrayed
I would win an award for best actress if they judged on this kind of show
But still you fight to keep me alive even as I try to hide and lie
Somehow I think you see the truth inside of me
For I must admit
Any person who would guide my through the darks and depths of my tunnel of death
Knows more about me then I do about myself some days
So I guess these words are trying to utter thank you
For saving me in ways that no one else has ever tried nor been able to
These three lined verses are no stranger to hatred or sadness or love
But they have never seen the likes of a poem of pure friendship
A different kind of love that has never entered the strings of lines
I tend to write, so scared to share or even press enter
I have nothing left to give or say
For everything these words have said say it all
You saved me from something I wouldn't have survived otherwise
Thank you.
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 30, 2011 at 11:58 AM UTC
Every left aligned string of words produced by me has been tainted
Chiseled at and infiltrated by a pain i cannot describe without these words
The syllables that cling to my soul trying to preserve my long lost innocence
My only way of coping with the sadness and the hatred
That run like blood so deep in my veins it's impossible to separate from me
Is to tie together letter after letter in order to try to forget
I've always had the urge to run so far away from my problems they can't find me
Instead as an adversary of my only works of art and of my sanity
You push me
Like a mirror cracked and broken in all of the vital places you reflect me
Reminding me that I'm not the only one broken in this world
And giving me another reason to cling to whats left of my reason to live and hold on to my life
One that I so badly needed as I watched the time tick by
Lost in this cloud of darkness that surrounded me
With no way to feel my way out nor find a glimmer of light to guide me
You taught me that I didn't need a light to see
Instead you took my hand and guided me by touch
Feeling my way out of the darkest of tunnels until a light far away was visible again
If only faint, it was there for me to see after so long of pure blackness
My eyes couldn't fathom what you had shown me
So like an old habit popping up my walls came burrowing up from the ground
Like they always do in dire situations yet for once
I fought to keep them down
For in you I know I have found something I was doubting the existence of
Care, love, and passion a friendship unexplainable even in my poetry
I fight now for words to describe the debt my heart owes to you for keeping me alive
One i will never be able to repay, not that you would allow me to if i tried
For being the broken and helpless person I am somehow I helped you too
The two of us fumbling for words and life couldn't be more thankful to have found each other
Where our two worlds coincide is where we will now be lost forever
That hand in the darkness saved me, now those eyes in the light
Push me forward when every fiber of my being wants to retreat
To forget about promises I've made and run back into trying to forget
To turn back into a person I was long ago where death was my only friend
Where love was a syllable only uttered with lost and my heart was always breaking
Now instead I've found reason for it to heal
Remembering all of the past I fought so hard to forget it
Has made moving forward much easier
Now every shuffled step I take is toward the light instead of away from it
Because now I am viable to admit that it is there
For once in my life I have hope that everything is going to be okay
Yet my tendency to act like everything already is okay
Still perpetrates my bones
I'm an actress at heart and the world is my stage
Feelings and emotions are my lines to be portrayed
I would win an award for best actress if they judged on this kind of show
But still you fight to keep me alive even as I try to hide and lie
Somehow I think you see the truth inside of me
For I must admit
Any person who would guide my through the darks and depths of my tunnel of death
Knows more about me then I do about myself some days
So I guess these words are trying to utter thank you
For saving me in ways that no one else has ever tried nor been able to
These three lined verses are no stranger to hatred or sadness or love
But they have never seen the likes of a poem of pure friendship
A different kind of love that has never entered the strings of lines
I tend to write, so scared to share or even press enter
I have nothing left to give or say
For everything these words have said say it all
You saved me from something I wouldn't have survived otherwise
Thank you.
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