Oh what you all must think of me now
When my heart sinks and my lips part to form a scream Though I know
No noise comes out
With all my mistakes
I often lust for leaving
Long for drowning
To wash away the permanent headache
Sending waves of humiliation
Through my entire frame
I often replay every wrong word I said
Second guess my second guesses
Try to retract my misplaced reactions
Settle scores I've carved against my own skin
Determined to paint over this portrait
This ugly depiction
I feel so low that I dream of dying
Just to erase the slate that haunts me
I hate this familiar basement of friendship, where your words are twisted and your intentions misrepresented. Everyone leaves me -again, saying I am poisonous. And a very deep part of me believes that
Maybe I am.
Poisonous.
And after so many times,
How can I not begin to question,
Is it's truly me or
Or is it them?
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 8:56 PM UTC
Oh what you all must think of me now
When my heart sinks and my lips part to form a scream Though I know
No noise comes out
With all my mistakes
I often lust for leaving
Long for drowning
To wash away the permanent headache
Sending waves of humiliation
Through my entire frame
I often replay every wrong word I said
Second guess my second guesses
Try to retract my misplaced reactions
Settle scores I've carved against my own skin
Determined to paint over this portrait
This ugly depiction
I feel so low that I dream of dying
Just to erase the slate that haunts me
I hate this familiar basement of friendship, where your words are twisted and your intentions misrepresented. Everyone leaves me -again, saying I am poisonous. And a very deep part of me believes that
Maybe I am.
Poisonous.
And after so many times,
How can I not begin to question,
Is it's truly me or
Or is it them?
The pain of friends turning their backs to you. How insecure that makes you feel about who you are as person.
