Don't you have anything else to say to me?
After all of this time
Had I fooled myself thinking I could be one of your kind?
But you looked so perfect in the light
I half fooled myself thinking that
I could dance, I could be the cool girl
In your trance
I was only dreaming
Of you
Only dreaming of being
One of your kind
Please don't look at me with those eyes
I can't take how badly I want to believe them
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 12:46 AM UTC
My father was an artist
He was Johnny Cash
He was Elvis
Every photo of him was
Black and white
And I'd cry at night
God how much I missed him
My mother took me to mountains
Where she'd hold my hand and
Tell me to sing as loud as I can
My father gave me my Martin
My Art and Lutherie
And before I knew chords
I strummed that guitar
Hoping somehow he'd hear me
I owe them everything
Every bone in my body
Because of them
I hear symphonies
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 12:35 AM UTC
My creative nature torments me
For all the moments I let it just sit there
Growing stale, but ever calling
I sit on my hands
They desperately reach for paintbrushes
I cross my fingers against pallets of color,
My heart soars
I hold that magical instrument against my chest
And I scream my music
Let all of it pour out of me
Streaming all of my torment
For my eyes get stuck to moments
That others won't see as beautiful
But to me, they are everything
A girl against a colored wall
Nobody understands the need I feel
To express is all
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 7:20 PM UTC
"You just need one solid friend I think"
He said to me while leaving
He can't be bothered by my welled up eyes, he won't stick around for the **** to break. He is not strong enough to sit with me in the crashing waves.
"You just need one solid friend I think"
He said to me while leaving
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 4:29 PM UTC
I don't like having friends
They're far too full of consequence
I am a fool, and unconvincing
I cannot shut my mouth for the life of me
For every word that pours out
There's a knife in the back of me
That's the pain I feel
Like KNIVES
That's the pain I feel
You pose a question
I grasp at it desperately
I'm so afraid to answer it incorrectly
So I throw out ever detail and story
Hoping something I say will connect
Will explain
Like maybe if you could see me
Like REALLY see me
All that has been and all that I am
In my entirety
That maybe you could see all of my flaws at once, but each one would leave a trace
Some deep rooted reason or far removed place
Some trauma that tainted me
Maybe it would save you from blaming me
Like I blame me
I'd hate to think that I was responsible for this mess barely standing in front of you.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 11:53 PM UTC
Laughing and crying, like a maniac
Driving faster and faster
With my school friend the passenger
She asks her to kindly slow the the car
She's afraid now, and she wants to go home
But these roads are dark and deep
Mama feels the need to drive them fast
To drag her car across her past
Before it traps her
Like a thinly stretched rubber band
Bound too tightly not to break
"Let her pick her poison"
"Let her pick her pain."
"Don't look at her that way."
The radio plays "damaged"
They ask if she's alright
As she bursts into tears,
I say "she's like this all the time."
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 1:44 AM UTC
On her way home, Mama saw a man Stranded, standing on a corner of the road
There was something about his eyes
She thought she saw "home" in them
"So get in the car."
She said "I know a bar
Thats not very far from here."
She opened the door, Barefoot
He fell in, and she let him.
He asked her why she picked him up
So carelessly and unreluctant
A few nights in a hotel
A few days on the road
When she remembers,
A quick phone call to home
She says that I'll understand when I'm older
The lengths she would go to for someone to hold her
But in the end,
He was just like him
Spitting image
Incarnate
Left her
With scars on her body
Drove off
With her car
Still, I cannot look her in the eyes
To say I told her so
My Mama loved so many men,
On her way home
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 1:17 AM UTC
It's late, I know
I promised that I wouldn't call
I just need to hear your voice
Need to know that you're alone tonight
All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie
I hate that it's so hard for you
To conjure up a tear or two
Tell me it's not all in veign
Mourn all the years I gave to you
Let me save a single moment from the drain
All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie
Tell me I'm your person
It's just one more lie
Tell me I don't deserve this
It's just one more lie
All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 10:51 PM UTC
Baby's breath
Innocence
Soft and delicate
Fragile
Porcelain
Gently lay you down in a bed of flowers
That I will not call a grave
But on the note I'll leave, I'll write
I'm sorry I could not save you
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 19, 2015 at 2:06 AM UTC
Oh what you all must think of me now
When my heart sinks and my lips part to form a scream Though I know
No noise comes out
With all my mistakes
I often lust for leaving
Long for drowning
To wash away the permanent headache
Sending waves of humiliation
Through my entire frame
I often replay every wrong word I said
Second guess my second guesses
Try to retract my misplaced reactions
Settle scores I've carved against my own skin
Determined to paint over this portrait
This ugly depiction
I feel so low that I dream of dying
Just to erase the slate that haunts me
I hate this familiar basement of friendship, where your words are twisted and your intentions misrepresented. Everyone leaves me -again, saying I am poisonous. And a very deep part of me believes that
Maybe I am.
Poisonous.
And after so many times,
How can I not begin to question,
Is it's truly me or
Or is it them?
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 8:56 PM UTC