When I picked up my pen
I wanted to write about comets
and galaxies and forest fires and whirlwinds
I wanted to write about
the way my morning coffee
resembled your dark brown eyes
I wanted to write about the way
my mother’s mascara and lipstick smeared
on the nights my father promised he would come home
but didn’t
I wanted to write about the beach;
how my thoughts were like the immensity of the ocean
and my joy was like the sand
how I let it slip right through my hand
I wanted to write about the way
you were like my cigarettes
and wondered why I loved
everything that destroyed me
I wanted to write about the way
the smell of your cologne lingered on my pillow long after you left
And how I found someone new
but still fell asleep to the thought of you
I wanted to write about the numbness;
the crippling way I felt nothing
and everything at the same time
I wanted to write about every thought I’d ever had,
To drown my demons in ink
And immortalize the act on paper
But when I picked up my pen,
I had a shaky hand
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 11:06 PM UTC
When I picked up my pen
I wanted to write about comets
and galaxies and forest fires and whirlwinds
I wanted to write about
the way my morning coffee
resembled your dark brown eyes
I wanted to write about the way
my mother’s mascara and lipstick smeared
on the nights my father promised he would come home
but didn’t
I wanted to write about the beach;
how my thoughts were like the immensity of the ocean
and my joy was like the sand
how I let it slip right through my hand
I wanted to write about the way
you were like my cigarettes
and wondered why I loved
everything that destroyed me
I wanted to write about the way
the smell of your cologne lingered on my pillow long after you left
And how I found someone new
but still fell asleep to the thought of you
I wanted to write about the numbness;
the crippling way I felt nothing
and everything at the same time
I wanted to write about every thought I’d ever had,
To drown my demons in ink
And immortalize the act on paper
But when I picked up my pen,
I had a shaky hand
Me not being able to collect my thoughts.
