they say with the highest highs
come the lowest of the lows.
i am pretty **** low.
lower than i told myself was acceptable.

and i have you to thank.

not in a facetious, bitter way
because i mean it:
thank you.

appreciation for the high
is the only hope i have left.

and i want to think i'm fine.
because in the grand scheme of it all
i am. i'm fine.

but.

nothing replaces the emptiness,
the large gaping hole,
the anger and sadness.

nothing fills it up and keeps it secure.

tears fill my eyes when i see your face.
only in photographs, a video,

a constant reminder that you saved me
and for that,

i thank you.