I have always wanted elegance in a vintage photo book with faded perfume on the cover, kind of way. I want to step on the strings of a robust cello to feel the taut, bendable life give out - replacement. I wish for the herbal remedy for the life I chose so long ago, the risks; highway lengths ago. I never thought I'd gain much from wishing against the bigger plan for me, but I lost more than I bargained for.