Mr. Shmirnoff could not fall asleep
For his mind was focused on nothing but his jeep
He walked into his kitchen with the hope of a solution
As he saw the pills the ones next to the lotion

He took a few too many thirty minutes later
His mind was spinning in circles like a 3rd grader
He figured he might sharpen his pencils before he lie down to sleep
He approached his sharpener he took a quick leap confused as a purple sheep and what came next was gory and ignorant because he put his finger in the sharperener out of confusion and tore it he still was loopy

And his finger became droopy as he confused his finger for a pencil his mind was woozy and soon enough he was losing so much blood and then he finally understood what was happening the blood dropped low as it stopped on his toe oh what a mess he made he finally took his finger out and said "Oh hell no!" The room was soaked in red his nerves were dead and shortly after that he entered into his bed

Finally resting with a finger mostly destroyed his ring was broken just like his previous joy and he finally fell into a slumber as he dreamed of some lumber that he had see on Tumblr.