and

I already feel

so lost

without you.

I understand the whole time thing I do think it’s for the best but I feel physically ill

ironic

considering contagion normally doesn’t last 1000 miles or maybe its just been dormant since we’ve touched

our intentions were,

no longer.

hesitant,

it’s not selfish,

caressing one another’s insecurities

with bare hands-

the lacerations in our skin were still too raw for our adrenaline to forget

and now that we’re crashing baby i’m sorry

it’s so hard,

dilated eyes,

bloodshot,

electric lights

dying out

but there is still a flame

I see it

we can burn these trees to the ground and be reborn from the ashes

too

we can apologize until even the sky sees that we’re blue

****

just listen to my elementary thoughts

and humor my wet-glue apology

please

understand

I still don’t quite know

how to cleanup  my messes

but

you never complained about the glitter I left on your pillow.





I remember

the night

you held me,

as I was dreaming

of reality

and living

unrealistically

you

made yourself too tangible

when you touched my arm

even after the embers burned out and after it left its mark

you remained.

I got accepted into college.

And

I don’t know what to do with my life.

I don’t know

what to do

without you.