Here's another story, I just made up
About a mailman, that we'll call "Tom"
He was kinda ugly, bald and fat
He really wasn't the bomb

Tom was nice to everyone
As crazy as that sounds
He'd always wave and say "Hello"
As he made his morning rounds

"Here's your mail" we heard him say
As he smiled and tipped his hat
Did I mention he was kinda ugly
Even bald and fat?

Now here's when the story changes
But everyone try to stay calm
For we caught him looking in windows
Yep, he was a peeping Tom

He was doing so much more, you see
Than just delivering the mail
He was spying on the neighbors
With a video camera as well

He just cried and said he was sorry
As he told us he was blind
I spoke up and said, " Let him go"
And they thought I was just being kind

The crowd was turned to an angry mob
As they all began to scowl
'Til I told them the last thing he saw
Was my mother-in-law in only a towel

That poor man was punished enough
That image will haunt his mind
My mother-in-law wanted his number
She said, "A boyfriend is hard to find"

Well that's the end of my story
That's all I have to tell
Just always remember to pull your shades
When your mailman delivers your mail