Dec 2014
I realized today pulling together damp ashes in fistfuls
While attempting to make something destroyed beautiful again
That your the same wicked little kid
Who destroyed every one of my sand castles .
I have wept 1,825 days for you.
My patience and efforts never crystallizing into anything more than dried scabs, nothing like the diamond I was always promised .
Sometimes I miss the sparkle shimmering in the ocean of your eyes.
I have missed them 43800 hours In approximation ... If numbers could even begin to encompass the depths of the hurt you have afflicted me with.. If numbers could even kiss the surface of this ever expanding sense of abandonment and worthlessness you have inspired within the shallow place within my chest . 2628000 Moments I have repressed a little voice inside my head that spoke in your hushed tones in the only voice I have ever known better then my own, dear sister. Now I just need your voice to stop echoing like shattered glass in every heartbeat; I just need to retreat and muster the will to retrieve the blade you left lodged between my vertebra so I can finally stand up straight and walk , swiftly in whichever way provides me distance from you. I only pray the blade sustains it's edge to sever this emotional dissonance. I have done the math 10,000 times there are no reasons left to keep trying. There are no variables that provide a desirable outcome there is no way to even this score.
While attempting to make something destroyed beautiful again
That your the same wicked little kid
Who destroyed every one of my sand castles .
I have wept 1,825 days for you.
My patience and efforts never crystallizing into anything more than dried scabs, nothing like the diamond I was always promised .
Sometimes I miss the sparkle shimmering in the ocean of your eyes.
I have missed them 43800 hours In approximation ... If numbers could even begin to encompass the depths of the hurt you have afflicted me with.. If numbers could even kiss the surface of this ever expanding sense of abandonment and worthlessness you have inspired within the shallow place within my chest . 2628000 Moments I have repressed a little voice inside my head that spoke in your hushed tones in the only voice I have ever known better then my own, dear sister. Now I just need your voice to stop echoing like shattered glass in every heartbeat; I just need to retreat and muster the will to retrieve the blade you left lodged between my vertebra so I can finally stand up straight and walk , swiftly in whichever way provides me distance from you. I only pray the blade sustains it's edge to sever this emotional dissonance. I have done the math 10,000 times there are no reasons left to keep trying. There are no variables that provide a desirable outcome there is no way to even this score.
