it's been two months since I've last written. I don't feel it anymore. it doesn't hurt anymore. Not because I'm over it. I don't feel anything anymore. My smile is real but can't you see it's gone within the minute. My laugh is louder, but can't you hear it turn into a cry? I gave up on ever being good enough for anyone. I have so many people tell me that so many people want me so why can't I see it. Why can't I see what they see. I think I'd be okay if I saw the girl my best friend describes. But then again, I've given up on loving myself ever again too. No love lost, no love found.