Let’s say for a few years of your life, you chewed a pack of gum a day.  and this gum wasn’t a gum that got old, you never wanted a new flavor.  And this gum made you really, really, extremely happy.  Let’s say you were going through hell but this gum brought you back from it.  So then you wake up one day, and you can’t chew this gum anymore.  And you're given no reason as why so you're just walking around confused and uncomfortable because you're not chewing any gum.  And the thing is: you see gum everyday.  You just can’t have it.  And when something becomes a habit, you tend to think about it all the time when said habit is not being preformed.  And over time you learn that you can’t chew gum but you still don’t know why and you still think about it all the time.  Then half a dozen months have passed and you find yourself back in a good place but you still can’t get that juicy, flavorful, everlasting gum out of your head.   So you try to ignore the urge but it is always there, pulling at your brain, that you need this gum, that this gum makes you happy.  But you still can’t chew this gum, that isn't even an option.  Then its a year, and although you may not want to chew this gum anymore you still constantly think about it, because your body is so used to it, your body is not ready to give up the hope that someday you will chew that gum again.  Then one day, you get the chance to chew it.  It is sitting right in front of you, ready to be chewed.  And you bolt.  You bolt because that beautiful little brain of yours is trying to protect you.  Because yes, you can taste that gum again.  But there will come a day, soon or far, that said gum is taken away.  And you can’t be put through that again.  This is the best way i can describe my crave for you but my unwillingness to fulfill it.