My journey through the forlorn miles,
The one's compelled by hated trials,
Brought me to a place once seen
Not long ago, before serene.
That bygone voyage still was made
As my attempt to then evade
The eyes of those who didn't care
Resulted in my worst despair.
The floor beneath me just gave way.
I fell so swiftly through the days.
The blur resulting from the fall
Did never quite consume the gall.
For vexed was I, beyond belief.
So there I lay, consumed with grief.
We'd had enough, I had to go
Back to the home that I did know.
For there at least, I'd hoped to find
Some solace and a peace of mind.
For here at least were those I knew,
The friends I'd had to bid adieu.
But no, instead, the blows still rained
With tidal force, its strength sustained.
The ones upon whom I had counted
Left me to be, til I'd surmounted
All the pains that life had dealt,
Once more alone, though I had knelt.
I'd pleaded, begged, asked for support.
But in the end, I came up short.
So to this day, I deal with this
A single man, lost in the mist.
The home that I had always known
Now held no hope for one so prone
To agony that needs the aid
Of all who'd once assured they'd stayed.
The other roots that'd found their way
Into my life were here to stay,
And it was these that once more made
Me come back here, where I'd decayed.
As life began to start anew,
My false elation never grew.
Instead it soon assumed its role
That I'd disguised, had covered whole.
Now once again, it grew unkempt
The letdowns I'd held in contempt.
I wanted just to fall in love.
On me, it fits much like a glove.
I simply feel that I am here
To show the one whom I revere
Just how much my soul puts out.
'Twere love a voice, this heart would shout.
And finally, I caught a break.
For here she was, just for my sake.
She held the values I loved most.
And not once did she ever boast
Of this, an overwhelming trait
The one that carries awesome weight.
Her beauty hit with shock and awe.
Such purity, so rich, so raw.
In seconds I'd felt drawn to her,
Excitement clouding my need to err
On sides of caution, lest I return
To my cold hell, where I would burn.
As soon I grew to know this girl,
Anticipation made me whirl.
We were too surely much alike.
My sadness briefly, went on strike.
But here, once more, too soon again,
I'd come too late, her heart, the wren
Had flown away before I'd come
So back I am to feeling numb.
I will keep fighting, this I see
As I've not lost my will to be
One half of what I hope to form
Soon after I survive the storm.
So push me, pull me, break me down
You'll never force this heart to drown.
I will prevail. I will succeed.
I'll find that love, so now take heed.
Forbidden fruit, though surely sweet
Will never tempt me, wicked treat.
I'll do this right, and find the one.
I've not ended, but begun.