"I love you"
My whisper shakes the ground
And my heart quakes the earth.
I’ve met a lot of boys in my life,
And very few men.
Many of them have made an impact
On my life now, and I bet not
One of them knows it.

There was #1 that was never the best
I’m sure even at that age, he only wanted a girls chest.
But he was cooler than me, with a scar above his eye.
We sat on the swings as he told me goodbye.
Him leaving me made me sigh.

#2 was a tool, but aren’t they all?
We were all used and abused,
But we volunteer for the fall.
I broke him once, his payback was fierce.
Him leaving me left me in tears.

#3 was a stranger
But hey, he was cute.
He turned around and told me,
“I think I like you”
I was enamored, of course,
I was young.
We ran around the playground
And told them all of our news
But it seems I’d forgotten,
I had to move.

#4 was naive, but so was I
Who would think to give it
A fifth try?

#5 was my best friend
Hilarious and cute
But I guess I didn’t understand
The meaning of abuse.
I was a little too rough,
And a little too mean.
But I never made an effort
Until I found him with ****.

#6 was a Mexican
I’d become attached
We met at a party, when I thought I met my match
Turns out it was him,
And certainly not his friend
Who I couldn’t seem to
Remember his name.
We lasted a long time,
He was my first love
But, you see, I’m a **** up.
I did him wrong.

#7 wasn’t long,
Nor did it last
But it didn’t stop him from
Keeping his hand in my pants.
I was too young to understand
I’m not sure he did either
But he started a chain
I should have taken a breather.
I wasn’t fun
And he didn’t like that
But I wasn’t ready
And that was that.

#8 was the domino
Tipped over by #7
Except that I thought this guy
Was my heaven.
Turns out, in the end,
I figured out much
I was quite stupid,
He wasn’t enough.

#9 was my angel,
My lover, my world.
When I thought about him
I tilted and whirled.
But I didn’t realize
Our life was a mess
And the love of my life
left me in a mess.
I broke, and I popped,
But that wasn’t enough to sway me
I created problems that couldn’t even
Be fixed by therapy.
It took me a year to get back to myself
But don’t think that stopped me
From finding someone else.

The third boy I loved
Taught me what love is.
To appreciate the world
And love it as it currently is.
I loved that hippie
With all of my heart,
But some people
Just can’t stay a part.

There was one more guy
Who told me he cared
And ****** me in
With all that he had.
He used those big eyes
And poked at my heart,
But little did I know
He too, would depart.
But it wasn’t him who left,
It was me.
Not even the songs he wrote
Could fix me.

*(r.e.)