there is slavery in my blood
cut me open watch the lynchings pour out
this is my history
you look at my skin and you see beauty in its light
in the whiteness inherited from a father
who still isn't sure how to love a child
much less himself
you look at my skin
and you expect
you expect self hatred to burn like the darkness of my mother's face
you expect scars to riddle forearms and thighs
a memoir to every long night spent alone in the company of a knife
you expect me to compensate and to cope
you expect alcohol to stain my breath and a black man's hand to stain my face
and yet you crave me like a sin
like my body is a blessing and a curse meant to please you
i am pretty for a black girl
but not black enough to be recognized
i am thick thighs and soft lips
and you want me on my back with my hands shackled
you'll take me back to the days when black bodies
were huddled in the belly of a ship
black bodies shivering as their deaths rose up on the horizon
you'll wrap a rope around my neck and pull
get it just tight enough to reminisce
pour me a glass of whiskey and say
look, there ain't no more strange fruit that didn't get put their by their own kind
we is kind to you
we is a blessing to you
accept my hands accept my mouth
let me love you like a slave master love's a whip
i will hold you like a tool and your body will leave marks on your brothers' backs
let me love you
i will teach you whiteness
teach you supremacy
teach you fear of the black man
and worship of a white man's dollar
i will keep you civilized girl now get down on your knees it is time to worship

now let me explain
there may be slavery in my blood
but let me show you what floods from my veins like a blessing
let me cut myself open and you can take a look
the only self hatred here is meant to act like a guard dog
keep my teeth sharp and ready to sink into your neck
see the anger that i set a blaze to keep your hands and your mouth as far from my skin as possible
you think i taste of mocha and a wild night in bed
but i taste more like bloodied knuckles and the teeth of a man who tried to touch me without my permission
i am a goddess before i am your lover
i am a queen before i am your blessing
and i will never be your curse
you want my body
it comes with everything else
every scream that rips from my voice as a black body falls by your father's hands
every tear that falls from my eyes as you try to shorten the distance between my body and a grave
you want to purchase me
then you're going to need more than money
gods are worth more than your slave trade will make you
queens won't bow if you aren't knighted
and the king doesn't want to knight a slave master for his abuse and his dehumanization
his animal hands and swallowing mouth
i may bleed your history of anger
but i will die before i gift it to you in a pretty package
the only present you'll be having is the one in which i am a human just as much as you are
now get down on your knees
it is time to apologize