There’s no hellos, no appointments or promises
just tiny little flashes and the weight on neck
dreams of hookers stitched down the middle
no more songs to play or memories from last year
faces so valuable fade

and I saw you again, and I thought that the wait
was finally over,
but there’s all of you
who obsess over her
and only empathize
yell about nothing
for the sake of sound

as if you’ll make any difference
like one person could make you
whole, or free
(or any person)

sick, exhausted
excuses to not think
or explain
and addicted to
skin you think is worthy
or euphoria, supposedly valid
all to do is decide
and skim

and you know,
just by seeing

and I wake up again
*****, desperate
wishing you would
stop
playing and stop lying
to yourself
when I was eaten by the sidewalk
I cried for hours
and the scar is still there
from a decade and a half
of picking

like the garden
near the border
with the vineyard
impossible to reach

dropping grapes in the gutter
and being called for dinner
wasting away on the carpet
waiting for honey to come home
to get back from the other side
sitting there, once again
watching the sun and the shadows
of the tree

back then

no hellos, no reservations
no promises
just the flashes of the sun through
the old coast curtains

and there you were again
smiling to hold me
before I woke up