i've heard of forest fires that reached heights higher
than the tallest buildings in my hometown, which
flicker vividly and rapidly eats away at the mulch.

then i remember that i've only actually seen them
from far away. the musk of campfire scent drifted
lightly in the air reminding me of the way it used
to be between us. the closer i got to you, the more
stronger and recognizable the scent of the burning
was. at one point, i actually saw the mulch reacting
to the fire as it spread like a virus in a stadium full
of unsuspecting victims. i saw more of myself in
the logs then i ever did being the fire. they sat
there undergoing a permanent chemical reaction
because they only caused the fire to burn longer.

i've seen the mirage from your ocean from here,
and i hear the water is crystal clear and safe to
drink. the same people who say that have gotten
either food sickness, car sickness, or sea sickness,

i remember when the water was spoiled and tainted
with residue because everyone overlooked you as
a shadow. how you cleaned it all out, the residue
of the hatred, regrets, sadness you are surrounded
by, was beyond me at the time. i may never know.

did you remember the time i learned to swim in
your ocean? people tell me it's their first time, but
i learned all about the bottom of the ocean where
davy jones' locker sits first. you showed me the
darkest parts of you, and somehow believed it
yourself, yet you are perfectly safe to drink.

i choked on you, not intentionally.

"you are the first person i could really tell
my problems to. you're like a sister to me."

WHY DID YOU TELL ME THOSE THINGS
IF THEY WEREN'T GOING TO MATTER
FIVE YEARS DOWN THE ROAD?

the shadow of you is more important than
anything because you are scared that the
sun will make that you shrivel up.

"it really doesn't matter whether i exist
or not. nobody will remember me."

DID YOU KNOW I AM STILL IN RECOVERY
FROM THE LAST TIME I GAVE MYSELF THIRD
DEGREE BURNS FOR YOU TO NOTICE THAT
I REALIZED I AM AT FAULT? I DID NOT TAKE
GOOD CARE OF YOU AND NOW OTHERS ARE
HEARING STORIES YOU HAVE NEVER TOLD ME.

they will never find your secrets because
all of them have been taken under my
wing and stored for myself. these are
my memories that nobody can have.

if i can't have any of them for myself.

- kra