Feb 2011
grabbing her by throat hair he holds gun barrel to right eye with free hand she edges fingers into boot pulls dagger plunges it into his heart
i didn’t mean to do that i meant to do this
i’m trying to figure out how other people deal with disappointment of old age i guess they arrive at some settlement some settlement that eludes me
very few figure out meaning of their lives until it’s too late then become detectives trying to figure out whys if you wake up tomorrow you’ve got a shot at new day no one in this world knows what might happen
i believe people can do change maybe not their nature but spiritually emotionally intellectually psychologically i recognize change within myself i did could now never commit acts different from who i was more scared sensitive hopeful pure honest longing for love probably i sound corny all i want is mutual love adoration in way it was easier when i was thoughtless i got ***** i don’t know
poet must face every conceivable fear terror no matter how despairing risk walking away from table without chips
there are good people and bad people sometimes good people make bad mistakes sometimes bad people make smart choices
for decades he lived knowing no one valued him except his family collecting his paintings reading his works praising his efforts his entire career an inside job
her graying disheveled hair muddy smudged apron raw arthritic fingers she cooks meal washes dishes a million trillion dishes thankless life mom what’s for dinner
some people see it all coming plan invest i never saw any of it coming i never imagined
the sickly smell of grandpa’s farts lingers in room nauseating family
he held shivering abandoned puppy in arms she whimpered repeatedly he swore in that moment to protect her stood by his promise until he buried her
wild wolf chases him growling snapping nipping at ankles tearing jeans biting drawing blood he runs
pitiable old men everyone knows old men are impotent jokes with no pack to punch just harmless peevish impediments what good are they what purpose do they serve get the ******-freaking out of the road old man
riotous advancing mob overcome military police
sharing yoga class old man attending his skin thin as parchment bled i cleaned his blood from mat every class until he died
after puncturing her maidenhood reaching ****** he strokes head of 8 year old daughter good girl good girl daddy is so proud
skin him alive skin him alive little girl asks what’s different about poetry from standard writing grandpa answers i have no answers
not possible yet happening gradually suddenly amidst bribes bargaining lies government collapses citizenry unleash in anarchy yearning for change
Mom’s fogginess i sense it beginning in myself possibly inherited will i become like Mom there’s no one looking out for me Mom i’m looking out for you
after 30 or 40 years life is over don’t believe what they tell you
when i’m dead what will they unearth in my personal effects writings paintings letters emails bookmarks internet visitations or gossip accusations from those still alive probably allege another selfish decadent fool squandered resources missed opportunities misses the mark
maybe in 5 years i will live in New York City London Paris Tokyo Tahiti with beautiful wife who will spread her buns want me to **** her grab my ***** at least once a day
there is a star in north sky that shines i understand you looking away when pain gets too great please look into my eyes when throbbing subsides
don’t make it any harder than it has to be please find it in your heart to forgive me i am so sorry
yup i’ve got cash guns friends in Canada Mexico Netherlands France first let’s make a run for the border then later think about a boat
oh yeah one last remark ******* haters bigots greedy ******* all you big city fat cats small town big fish fearful suburban housewives over-cautious grannies gangsters politicians real-estate lawyers moneylenders fraudulent priests ******* all you movie actor phony smile celebrities cliché skinny jean cowboy boot rock stars all you left-wing right-wing tea-party outer-space inner-space freaks ******* i can’t don’t know how to explain myself ******* all
i didn’t mean to do that i meant to do this
i’m trying to figure out how other people deal with disappointment of old age i guess they arrive at some settlement some settlement that eludes me
very few figure out meaning of their lives until it’s too late then become detectives trying to figure out whys if you wake up tomorrow you’ve got a shot at new day no one in this world knows what might happen
i believe people can do change maybe not their nature but spiritually emotionally intellectually psychologically i recognize change within myself i did could now never commit acts different from who i was more scared sensitive hopeful pure honest longing for love probably i sound corny all i want is mutual love adoration in way it was easier when i was thoughtless i got ***** i don’t know
poet must face every conceivable fear terror no matter how despairing risk walking away from table without chips
there are good people and bad people sometimes good people make bad mistakes sometimes bad people make smart choices
for decades he lived knowing no one valued him except his family collecting his paintings reading his works praising his efforts his entire career an inside job
her graying disheveled hair muddy smudged apron raw arthritic fingers she cooks meal washes dishes a million trillion dishes thankless life mom what’s for dinner
some people see it all coming plan invest i never saw any of it coming i never imagined
the sickly smell of grandpa’s farts lingers in room nauseating family
he held shivering abandoned puppy in arms she whimpered repeatedly he swore in that moment to protect her stood by his promise until he buried her
wild wolf chases him growling snapping nipping at ankles tearing jeans biting drawing blood he runs
pitiable old men everyone knows old men are impotent jokes with no pack to punch just harmless peevish impediments what good are they what purpose do they serve get the ******-freaking out of the road old man
riotous advancing mob overcome military police
sharing yoga class old man attending his skin thin as parchment bled i cleaned his blood from mat every class until he died
after puncturing her maidenhood reaching ****** he strokes head of 8 year old daughter good girl good girl daddy is so proud
skin him alive skin him alive little girl asks what’s different about poetry from standard writing grandpa answers i have no answers
not possible yet happening gradually suddenly amidst bribes bargaining lies government collapses citizenry unleash in anarchy yearning for change
Mom’s fogginess i sense it beginning in myself possibly inherited will i become like Mom there’s no one looking out for me Mom i’m looking out for you
after 30 or 40 years life is over don’t believe what they tell you
when i’m dead what will they unearth in my personal effects writings paintings letters emails bookmarks internet visitations or gossip accusations from those still alive probably allege another selfish decadent fool squandered resources missed opportunities misses the mark
maybe in 5 years i will live in New York City London Paris Tokyo Tahiti with beautiful wife who will spread her buns want me to **** her grab my ***** at least once a day
there is a star in north sky that shines i understand you looking away when pain gets too great please look into my eyes when throbbing subsides
don’t make it any harder than it has to be please find it in your heart to forgive me i am so sorry
yup i’ve got cash guns friends in Canada Mexico Netherlands France first let’s make a run for the border then later think about a boat
oh yeah one last remark ******* haters bigots greedy ******* all you big city fat cats small town big fish fearful suburban housewives over-cautious grannies gangsters politicians real-estate lawyers moneylenders fraudulent priests ******* all you movie actor phony smile celebrities cliché skinny jean cowboy boot rock stars all you left-wing right-wing tea-party outer-space inner-space freaks ******* i can’t don’t know how to explain myself ******* all
