He staggered from the bar stool
To ask a lass to dance.
Alas, he'd had too many more,
He did not stand a chance.

A chance was just a fraction;
Hell, he could  hardly stand.
He took out fourteen tables there
And headed towards the band.

The band was playin' Old Fat Rose",
A favorite of the crowd.
But no one heard him crashing.
The band was Oh! so loud.

The lass what he was aimin' for
Caught sight of him and fled.
He tried to reach and catch her
But he snagged her beau instead.

Her beau, he tried to pull away,
But he'd been drinking too...
And so they danced the night away.
A fine "How-Do-Ya-Do".

So gimme a HI! and gimme a HEY!
And don't step on me toes...
We'll drink and dance the night away
To   Old   Fat   Rose!