Depression.
It's such a taboo word.

When taken at the hand of serious passing.
The fear invoking accountability of it.
For those who live with it,
It means you will have a partner in life
You want to get lost from.
The invisible presence of the mind.
A constant follower no one else can conquer for you.

And they will try.
Those who care for you.

They try,
They will ask of and advise and encourage.
Through muffled ears held by depressions contempt ridden hands,
You might be lucky to catch a word or two.
The faint taste of truth you want to believe in, but can't convince yourself of.
Not every time at least.

Peace holding it's arms open wide for you to fall into,
While you yearn behind a self created glass case.
Not knowing how to step out.
And when you find a key that fits...another lock appears.
A cycle of almosts.

But you don't give in easily.
You learn your enemy, to one day defeat it.
You struggle and overcome and fall back and GET BACK UP AGAIN.
You always get back up.
It becomes a dance no rhythm could match.
A two step with four feet.
Struggle becomes a mission for you.
You are rebuilding and revising and trying, trying, trying.

Perfect happiness is an ill advised illusion.
But content is real.
A tangible plateau you can see the rest of your life from.
Where foods taste sweet and spicy and you can smell the flowers you stop for.
Music vibrates your bones and sunsets never being so vivid.
Being nurished by your loves adoration.
Feeling your childs heartbeat against your chest.

When depression slips in when you're not looking.
Sets up shop behind your back.
Take time turning around to face it.

Some who suffer this wonder if there is any purpose for them.
In this burdened life.
Those who feel alone among loved ones.
I'd like to think, if they can't focus on anything outside,
Maybe the challenge within them...is IT.
Learning and growing from this sequestered state.
To better help others who may be in various stages.

And isn't that something...
To fight for your God given life?


*©NDHK