God cut Existence into eight even slices.
God was Italian, after all...
Rome, and all that...
Jesus was a fluke...
But the wine trick was good.
So God passed out the pizza to the worthy:
A slice to the Needy-
A slice to the Humble-
A slice to the Rich
(But he picked off the pepperoni.)
God gave a piece to the dour, unbaptized;
A slice to the children-
A slice to the Fallen
On their way to Hell
(It's a long ride, and God is Forgiving).
God looked down into the box at the Last Piece:
Angels hovered, drooling...
Seraphim, Cherubim,
Arch and minor-winged First Born
Salivated above the Cardboard Holy of Holies.
God just laughed and shoved it into His Omnipotent Mouth.
And He Screamed!
Rivers ran dry!
Oceans parted!
"Damn cheese is HOT!"