God cut Existence into eight even slices.
     God was Italian, after all...
     Rome, and all that...
     Jesus was a fluke...
But the wine trick was good.

So God passed out the pizza to the worthy:
     A slice to the Needy-
     A slice to the Humble-
     A slice to the Rich
(But he picked off the pepperoni.)

God gave a piece to the dour, unbaptized;
     A slice to the children-
     A slice to the Fallen
     On their way to Hell
(It's a long ride, and God is Forgiving).

God looked down into the box at the Last Piece:
     Angels hovered, drooling...
     Seraphim, Cherubim,
     Arch and minor-winged First Born
Salivated above the Cardboard Holy of Holies.

God just laughed and shoved it into His Omnipotent Mouth.
     And He Screamed!
     Rivers ran dry!
     Oceans parted!
"**** cheese is HOT!"