maybe if I got a girlfriend

maybe if I wasn’t doing
all this work for myself,
but for someone else

maybe then I’d do it,
work my *** off,
dig in and get it done
and be able to smile
about it at the end of
the day

because I work hard
when I think I can
succeed

I pour my heart into it,
my mind, my body,
everything

and when I do that
I’ve seen what I can
do

but presently,
I am not enough
and
no one is a real
enough goal

so I sit in thought,
wondering how to
trick myself, a boy
too smart for his
own good