It's weird because you can be around somebody every hour of every day and feel absolutely nothing, not the slightest ounce of pain, love, compassion, anything. You're just neutral towards them. But then one day you meet one person who feels like a rush of ****** through your veins and you can't get enough of it. You don't even know if it's a good or bad feeling because it overwhelms every ounce of common sense you have in your being to figure it out but you know you love it. You love the way they make you stay awake all hours of the night replaying one sentence they said coming up with a hundred different possible meanings and you love how they make your heart physically hurt in your chest every time they speak because their voice is so beautiful that it can't help but rip you apart and you love that they challenge you. You could be backed against a wall screaming in their face and all you can think about is how ******* mesmerizing their eyes are when they're upset and how much you love it. You forget how to watch a movie on your own because you grow so used to watching their ****** expressions tell a better storyline than the original script ever could and you forget the words to your favorite song because all you can hear is how their voice quivers on that one phrase that hits a little too close to home for them and you love it. You love all of those things, that feeling of being so high on their presence alone that you can't even begin to question it. You love it so much you don't realize that while the ****** that is them races through your veins it's killing your internal functions along the way and it's causing your skin to turn a pale shade of grey. All you can feel and think and see is them and how much you love it and you miss all of the negative things they are doing to tear you apart limb from limb and before long you have to take a lethal does of their midnight words to feel that same high that you used to feel with even the simplest hello. Soon you have to hear them tell you they never loved you to even begin to feel your heart race only now it all hits at once, all of the negatives that have been shutting down your body crash on you at once and you don't even feel your lungs being filled with fluids because you're so focused on grasping your chest and screaming why why why. Why the **** didn't I get help when it was offered and why did I think the highs would ever be worth this devastating low. You finally see that the entire time you've been the addict and they've been the drug that will ultimately be your own demise. C.a.l