i miss the way you used to kiss my hands and cup my face like i was something new

i miss the way you wrote i love you on my spine with your thumb every time the silence settled

i miss your self taught rebellion

we used to stay up all night to question the world together.

you used to tilt your head, trying to solve me like a puzzle
and when you couldn't figure it out
you used to gather my pieces and love them anyway

i miss the car we first cried together in
i miss the first time we traced each other's skin
i miss sitting by the river and letting the breeze batter our sides
i miss the sing-your-heart-out car rides

i miss any radiation given off from the first year of "i love you's"

ultimately, i miss your interest in me

when you look at me now
your eyes are hollow

come back to me.