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Feb 2011
The humble new owner of a pitiful existence
wherever I go she follows in close distance
With her locks electrified with shine and her claws sharpened
so very fine
Starting at the ladder in my heart and climbing to my head
She wonders why I wish I was dead
Always avoiding emotion, building up
pouring out like the deepest ocean
I try to calm her, stop her tantrums
but she's a swingset back and forth
with moods at random
Says she's seen a lot, that I couldn't understand
her pitiful existence doesn't justify her being with a man
She doesn't want your help or smile or sorrow
Tells me she wishes to never see a tomorrow
The secrets she keeps will never be known to me
Assuring she doesn't have any, that of all sin
she's free
Never knowing always guessing
the fatal cycle of hoping
feeling
raging
forgetting
Every tear of hers I've felt on my skin was like pure cyanide
Another man couldn't handle the somber anguish it brings me
inside
Her eyes trying to disguise her demise
into the netherworld
I've tried everything imaginable to try to save this girl
She was young and naive, tried to convince me she didn't
know what she was doing
Yet any man with two eyes and ears and hands could have seen
it was love we were pursuing
And now that the first love's wooing is ended
She wants a friendship to keep us mended
But I just couldn't get it, don't understand what she's thinking
the thing that broke my heart wants to watch as I'm limping
Wants to help me along and pretend to be strong as I'm feeling
my whole life slip from my grip
Dependent on the nurture and the loving-caring drama
all I thought I wanted was to hold her in my arms
Never should have trusted those lying little hands
Or the way she told me she'd never want another man
She broke the chains and ****** up the plan
My heart is being picked apart by her plucking of its strings
she's reached down
snatched me
and tore off my wings
She steals all my dreams and twists them into nightmares
And anywhere my mind tries to escape
she goes there
Why this ***** tries to tell me to love another,
I can't comprehend
When she knows she's the only one I'll ever
want in my bed
And now I'm standing in a pool of impossible
with an ending to this hell nowhere in sight
I keep on lying to myself
sobbing, saying maybe one day
I'll be reborn into some light
I still love her but my passion is laced and saturated with hate
Intertwined with the loathing she's served me
on a plate
For somehow forgetting the oaths
The ones she's condemned us and forced us to forsake
Forever now seems like a lot of type of mind-*******
when you know your story ends just like the rest of them
If she was remotely forgettable, I'd dispose her
from my mind in a minute
But that can never happen for this humble owner
of this once-meaningful existence
written in the eyes of someone else.
Written by
Melina Gold
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