Shades of Blue (For Emma, my beloved cat)

Windows are open just a crack and
The ceiling lights are on- I feel that the walls are closing in on me.
All I can see is darkness
Until I look into your eyes, as they rescue me from my madness.

Your eyes, when open, are blue as the ocean reflecting the sunlight and
I touch you gently, you do not move-You are asleep, curled up by my side-
For the first time in my life I feel loved and not afraid-

Blue is the color of the sky on a summer’s day,
Blue is the color of the walls that surround me
The color blue caresses me,
When I am lost in the bleak darkness of despair-

I am locked inside a world of my own-
Where veracity rarely enters- my angry thoughts contain me-
People have robbed me of my guiding light
I wonder where to my reality has vanished- as
My spirit has been snatched away-

I paint my world shades of blue, I can feel the ocean waves come over me
Colored a deep blue reflecting the sunlight they have cleansed my soul of pain.
I opened my door just for a brief moment to let you enter-
You are the only reality I can accept right now-

Lying close to me- as always,
So tiny the day I brought you home- my very essence was
Standing upon the edge of death, but I was comforted by your gentleness,
And by your unconditional love.

I can say I love you, you are not human.
I could hold you in my arms – you are not a threat to me.
Your eyes so blue shine light upon my dark world.
But I know you shall pass away before me.

I have opened more to you than the door to my world,
I have opened my heart to let you in-
Some say you would never comprehend my thoughts, as
You do not hear me crying.

But I would never believe those words- because
Your presence has given me hope-
When you open your eyes and look lovingly into mine-
I know I have been saved- I had lost myself when I was born.
When you came into my life I could feel your softness comforting me-
I know our time together shall end in less than awhile and sadly
That was meant to be.

Life is bittersweet-
A different shade of blue-the blueness of sorrow- However
The reason I am alive today is because, you, my dear friend are also alive, and as always,
Taking my tears away, and then giving me the strength to persevere.

Claudia Krizay