I should have sent more cards,
written more letters, read more books.
Paid more attention to unspoken words,
conveyed in all those looks.
Only then could I have understood
just all that she could be.
Only then would I have noticed
I was to her as she was me.
But fear and insecurity,
paint a funny shade of green,
add a splash of doubt and jealousy,
kiss goodbye to self-esteem.
And so I sit alone again
cross one more lesson off the list
lick my wounds then walk away
and not look back at what I missed.