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Nov 2014
This isn't teen hormones.
This isn't just depression.
I don't know what to think anymore
Is anyone there
How can you tell the line from reality when you wake up
I'm so confused constantly
I am literally just stumbling through everything in the dark
Everything is dark
There is no help where I am
And the longer I don't get the help I need
The more lost I'm going to become
Even when I'm with these people
People I should be able to trust
I'm so alone
I can't feel part of a group
It's probably because I'm not.
Every waking moment is blurry and dull.
It's like I put sunglasses on my emotions.
I'm trudging through mud.
I'm drowning.
How much more of this can one person take?
Every waking moment is
No one likes you
No one cares about you
Everything I thought was stable isn't there
It never was
My mind was a home
A stable two story house
He said I had irrational thoughts
That I hear things that people don't actually say
That I don't have a clear connection to reality
Now what
Do I question everything I thought was real
Do you know how confusing that is?
Do you know how much pain I feel?
Constant suffering and lack of sympathy
I can't feel anything
But when I do
It's so strong that I can't stand it
I get so suicidal
I just want this to be over with
I'm tired of feeling like this
No, I don't want to change.
Why should I have to change to be normal?
Why do I have to take pills to be normal?
What if it changes me
I'm so scared to be happy
Do you know how comfortable depression is?
Depression is my childhood friend
Depression is the only thing I can trust and depend on
Without depression I'm
Nothing.
SinEater
Written by
SinEater  wonderland
(wonderland)   
612
 
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