a harelipped man walked into a liquor store and walked up to the proprietor and said gimme a bottle of gin.

and the proprietor said to himself  "why THIS dumb *******. I'll have some  fun with him!"

He said "What kind  would you like?"

"You mean theres more than one kind?"

"Yessir theres 3"

"What are they?"

"Hydrogen, Oxygen and Nitrogen"

"Thats right" Said the harelip.

and theres three kinds of turds too.

"What do you mean?"

"Mustard. Custard. AND YOU YOU BIG SACK OF ****!"