November 21st, 2014
will forever be in my heart.
It was his birthday
and
it
was
perfect.
I got to spoil the love of my life
(my favorite hobby).
I got to drive him around to get his free drinks
and watch him be so awkwardly adorable because he wasn’t all that good at lying when the drinks were for me.
I got to walk around the pet store as we picked out fish that we wanted someday
together.
Simple things.
But it couldn’t have been any better.
He is perfect.
And he’s mine.
Forever,
I hope.

We went to dinner with his family
and I had a strange feeling.
A feeling of happiness and belonging
as rare and impossible as finding someone to love me-
what seemed to be a one in a million chance.
His family is real.
It’s messy and silly and a pain in the *** and sometimes broken
but it’s real.
It’s what I never had.
Or what I wasn’t old enough to comprehend when I did have it.
Family.
It’s my most secret desire.
The one that calls to me from the deepest reaches of my soul,
the crevices of my heart that see as much light as the dark side of the moon.
Hidden away so it cannot be taken before I hold it in my hands.

I had no idea where this poem would go.
But I know now.
It’s his birthday,
and with only eleven minutes left,
I know he’s giving me the more worthwhile gift-
the chance to be a part of something.