You call me a friend,
So listen to me blather
And splatter, as I pretend
I can mend just what's
left of my heart

Do you see my father up there?
Because I don't.
He's as ethereal as the clouds passing by
Nonsensical, whimsical, unethical
But more than that, absent

Do you see all these people passing by?
I do.
I stare at every one
Hoping for a lover, a friend or even an enemy
Anything familiar or functional.
I just need someone to put their hand out
And who gives a **** what it's for
I sure as hell won't ask
I just need to be touched

Do you see your face in the mirror?
I sure as hell can
It's the face that haunts my every thought
I don't know if this is love or obsession
But either way, I can't get you to leave
me with your affection
I know this isn't how it's supposed to go
But how can I say no
To love, in spite of all the sorrow

Do you see me?
Because I'm not sure he's there
You see the show
All glitter and glow
Me when I'm strong
Not when I'm wrong
I see me through a veil
Only partly there
I see the good
And the pain
But there's plenty I miss

I want to see
I want parents who care
I want relationships that can weather the wear
I want you to be there
I'm petty, greedy
And ever so needy
I'm scared and spiteful
and even hurtful
But never mindful
of what I really need

So now do you see?
This is me
weak and foolish
And not at all
who I want to be