I am the pendulum swing from life and death-

Some days I feel so alive I cry and the world is my playground, where I can see beyond the horizons and touch sunsets with my fingertips. I kiss at the stars and create constellations connectioning myself to the universe, each bright orb a reason why I'm thankful for the breath I am afforded.

Some days I am so far to death I look for life in the sheets of people I don't know, the empty bottles of clear spirits when mine is so dark, and anything that may light a spark in the dark cavity of my chest. I light lighters to substance when I am so lacking substance myself.

The pendulum swings so hard and so far, creating winds that I feel as chill on the days I swing to death, and a wind I welcome on days my soul shines so bright the days I feel the warmth.

I'd **** to have a softer swing but I'm killing over the fact that some days I'd **** myself and others I wonder how I could ever even feel that in the first place.