Don't.

Don't see her and think its me.

She is the heart of darkness, the shadow of fear and doubt taking residence in my body. I hate her. I hate everything about her, yet she is apart of me, a part I cannot seem to shake, like a fever that's a tad too strong or a burr that's a tad too stuck.

Don't look at me and feel fear, look at me and see me, however clouded that vision may be at this point. The monster who wants to destroy itself and those I love is not who I am.

I will not be defined by my depression.

Don't forget my smiles and my tears and my history and our story if I ever lose. If I cannot control the atrocity within, the  vortex of despair, don't forget who I want to be.

Don't remember me for the pain, for the ticks and the tocks as I wear down the clock, drawing tragedy closer to me. Don't see me as anyone but Grace, the girl who loved too much and self-preserved too little. I never was quite good at it, anyway, I was always much better at caring until it hurt.

Don't juxtapose my illness with me, it is one facet of my heart, not all of me, and even if I break your heart, know I never wanted to. I never want anything that hurt those I care for, but sometimes I simply cannot stop myself.

Don't think of me as the monster I think I am, believe in me more than I believe in myself and maybe, just maybe, one day I can believe in me too.