what alone used to mean

you start off thinking Ibsen and Bukowski
by second order effect
were right
being alone is a measure of strength
and in your own world
no weight
no body is stronger than yours
then the first one comes along

she
well
she is fast
its a firework
in a heart frame
she paints a picture
drop
whistle
boom
her hands end up down your pants
under a blanket
hoping your parents don't walk down stairs
basement touching
turns into basement loving
awkward fumbling
inhale
shes in pain
you don't know what you're doing
but you're sure its love
like the firework it fades
and you then are sure as before
alone is a measurement of strength

then the second and third
like plastic deck furniture
bright on the day you bought it
but sunshine and rainstorms
make it fade
you don't remember the time you used it last
but the sun felt nice
warmed your face
you can remember your shirt off
or was it hers?
it was certainly hers
or hers
no one seems to be able to remember
either way you ended up
alone in that sunshine
which still warmed your face
smiles and wrinkle lines

then came lightning strikes
you were older and
Ben Franklin wasn't the only man
in history that flew his kite
to understand something
humans still haven't mastered
some hurt and some
left your hair on end
sitting up in the morning
asking for round two
three and four
but you realize they aren't with you
they end up leaving in the morning
like it was nothing

after thunderstorms
comes
her
shes better
she isn't lawn furniture
or the first one to stroll through  
shes this magical creature
where you want her to be the last one
she
proves Ibsen wrong
so very very wrong
your heart is opened
the depths of soul dance across page
your fingers grace her face
and your very life force jumps from you to her
shes different
you don't have to do her the same
you have to do right by her

candle dinners
gifts with undertones
that there is more to come
there is a life to come
there is a life with someone
besides yourself
there is a life with her
and she has made it
where you are incomplete
when she isn't around