Why can't I stop hurting myself? Am I hurting myself, or is everyone else hurting me and I blame myself? Am I sane? I don't know how to stop hurting. Why do I hurt? Do I hurt because of something I did? Do I deserve this? Is it a punishment? No, I don't think so, that wouldn't make much sense...hmm...is it because of some part of Nature that just means I won't stop subjecting myself to pain because hurting is a part of me? Experiencing the pain others might otherwise deal with and keeping it caged in myself? It certainly seems to be what I've built myself to be. chuckles A sponge. That's what I'm like. A pain sponge. Is that good? Is that bad? Is that helpful to anyone? Is it even good for or helpful to me? I dunno. It seems to make sense. I don't think about it though, and most things can make sense if you don't think about them...when am I eating? What am I eating? Man, I'm hungry...I should go and get some of that cake out of the kitchen. Will that help me feel full? Maybe...Hmm...I wonder if I should talk to Karl...he might notice if I texted him...I could see if we could hang out...eh, we never end up hanging out except when he texts. I'll just sit here for a while longer. Hmm...I wonder what music sounds good right now. Let's think...Hollywood Undead? Eh, I can't think of any songs from them right now...Imagine Dragons? Mrrrrrr maybe. Probably not. Whatever. I guess I'll sit here a little longer...do I want to take a walk? I've not left the house in a while...I could do with some fresh air, maybe...or maybe not. I dunno. I just kinda wanna feel better. How would I go about feeling better? What's the best way to stop feeling so ******? Would google have any suggestions? I doubt it...******, why does my mom want so much of me? Well, she doesn't really want that much...or maybe she does and I tell myself she doesn't? Or does she not and I tell myself she does? Did I say those right? Do I care? I dunno. I kinda wanna sleep. I think I'm gonna go have that cake and go to bed. Do I want some milk with my cake? Yeah, maybe some milk...Maybe I could just sleep...I bet I'll stop feeling so bad if I sleep...