Why did you have to become a ghost to me? I've never held on to something as tightly as you, literally held you so as to keep your bones from falling apart beneath me, held on to your skin as a way to stop you from leaving. I thought I had my hands somewhere deep inside your soul but then I learnt you didn't have one anybody could touch. I should have listened, but I saw lights inside you so bright they could blind me and I couldn't look away. And so I was blind to the reality, to your selfish needs, your selfish touch, your selfish love. And now here I am; they say you see a light at the end of the tunnel, but either I'm still blind or there is just endless darkness down here. I didn't know that if you lost yourself inside someone you'd lose yourself completely, that you'd never find your way back to yourself. This is what love has done: I was so completely in love with you, so completely intoxicated by your existence, that I forgot how to love myself. And now I can't remember.